Author Archives: Adena

The End

And God said unto Adam, thou shalt live side-by-side with the tyrannosaurus…

The question of the day:

What happens when a Universal Studios theme park employee decides it is his God-given mission to prove that the earth is only 6,000 years old?

The answer:

The Creation Museum.

Now, Kate, Emily and I, were entirely prepared to believe. And by that, I essentially mean that we had gathered just about every photographic device we could muster and were prepared to ironically pose with as many animatronics as humanly possible. A few things, however, still made us slightly incredulous upon our labyrinthine visit.

the steamy side of Eden. It somewhat resembles a Sandals ad for the Book of Genesis...Welcome to Paradise

Spooky lighting seems to pop up whenever tangential culture things are mentioned

their arguments were particularly sketchy

And, more than any of these things, we were incredulous with their entirely comical insistence that dinosaurs co-existed with man. Now, Kate brought up the point that it would probably be better for them if they just denied the existence of dinosaurs. But how could they possibly ignore taunting such as this:

And so, to spite people such as the designers of the above novelty t-shirt graphic, the powers that be decided to base the majority of this 60,000 square foot museum around proving that humans and Viloceraptors were prehistoric playmates. This may raise questions in your mind such as this:

But the answer is simple: small dinosaurs, big cages.

So unless you want to load your family into the car (as many people in the PACKED museum did), follow the incredibly thorough signage through Kentucky to the Creation Museum’s front door, and fork over 20+ dollars, i’ll make the argument simple.

This:

A girl feeding a squirrel a carrot as a velicoraptor chills nearby

A girl feeding a squirrel a carrot as a velicoraptor chills nearby

or this:

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs...

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs...

So, whether you think Dr. Ian Malcolm is correct about the sequence of things (give or take a few ‘animatronics’), or simply want to scratch out a few details in his order of events, it all pretty much ends the same way: with us running our heretical asses out of there so we could get on with 2 hours of fruitless fishing (the only result being well-fed fish), Lifetime movies, and lazy rambling around lakehouses and basements.

Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...

Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...

Tomorrow the long haul to Houston. And then it will be good-by to summer and good-by to silly blogs like this one.

Ohio, so much to discover.

Four hundred miles and more than a few cornfields later, Kate and I have landed ourselves in our friend Jack’s basement in Ohio. There are plentiful hills, but whether they are alive with the sound of music is pending. You may punch me for that.

In any case, yesterday we went to the Medina County Fair. Corndogs were eaten, pigs were spooned by other pigs. Rabbits were the size of sheep, sheep were the size of horses, and horses were the size of bigger horses. 4H dramas were played out by the hour. A lone keyboardist struggled to play Freebird by Kate’s request. And apparently, somewhere in there, there was breastfeeding inside the dairy barn.

‘Tis a magical place where Purell is King.

What would you expect with a conscience so small?

Did you know?

The greater Houston area is mostly built in the 70’s. I feel that they made a solid attempt at interesting suburban architecture, though Kate is not so sure. There are no tumbleweeds. It does not get cold at night (people from Chicago, I’m talking to you). The accents aren’t too out of control, but people say things like “It’ll be a hoot!” more often than you’d expect. Most things are delicious, but let’s be honest, that’s a motif in my life. The only things that are remarkably bigger in Texas are houses and my body fat index.

On a personal note, no hugely diverting anecdotes as of yet, but never fear, we’re still in the quiet before the storm.  We spent the day bouncing around the city, devouring delicious foodstuff, and digging through porcelain figurines, etc in antique-y type places.

Note: I will provide few real pictures, since I’m operating largely with a polaroid.

Some of you may not know this, but Houston is actually in the future.

Some of you may not know this, but Houston is actually in the future.

Breakfast Klubs waffle & fried chicken. I had to stick to Texas toast.

Breakfast Klub's waffle & fried chicken.

Ill leave this to your imagination. Lets just say we nearly had a breakthrough in squirrel-human relations.  Nearly.

I'll leave this to your imagination. Let's just say we nearly had a breakthrough in squirrel-human relations. Nearly.

One more day in Houston before trucking off to San Antonio. I can feel the Alamo calling me home. So dear Alamo, let it be known, I have not forgotten thee.  More on this later.

Instead of packing…

I made a picture to represent tomorrow’s events. When I’m on that airplane and horrible visions flash before my eyes of my phone charger sitting plugged into my wall at home, I’m going to wish I had spent this time packing and not making a Super Duper Necessary/Awesome Picture. But right now I’m pretty much certain this was the correct thing to be doing.

ps This is in fact a correct depiction of the geography of the US.  Illinois is floating vaguely below Texas in an otherwise seamless ocean.  I suspect this can be attributed to global warming.

-Adena

Adena’s say

“It’s an anywhere road for anybody anyhow.”

I will henceforth be referring to this site as: Adena and Kate’s Roadtrip/Documentary..heh heh heh.  Note the alphabetical justice and also, prominence of Me in that revised title. After all.. I’m kind of a big deal.

With that, I have nothin to say bout no roadtripz.

From On The Road: “What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?–it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-by.  But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”

I look forward to seeing everyone. I bought an underwater disposable camera today. Let’s all go swimming.