And God said unto Adam, thou shalt live side-by-side with the tyrannosaurus…

The question of the day:

What happens when a Universal Studios theme park employee decides it is his God-given mission to prove that the earth is only 6,000 years old?

The answer:

The Creation Museum.

Now, Kate, Emily and I, were entirely prepared to believe. And by that, I essentially mean that we had gathered just about every photographic device we could muster and were prepared to ironically pose with as many animatronics as humanly possible. A few things, however, still made us slightly incredulous upon our labyrinthine visit.

the steamy side of Eden. It somewhat resembles a Sandals ad for the Book of Genesis...Welcome to Paradise

Spooky lighting seems to pop up whenever tangential culture things are mentioned

their arguments were particularly sketchy

And, more than any of these things, we were incredulous with their entirely comical insistence that dinosaurs co-existed with man. Now, Kate brought up the point that it would probably be better for them if they just denied the existence of dinosaurs. But how could they possibly ignore taunting such as this:

And so, to spite people such as the designers of the above novelty t-shirt graphic, the powers that be decided to base the majority of this 60,000 square foot museum around proving that humans and Viloceraptors were prehistoric playmates. This may raise questions in your mind such as this:

But the answer is simple: small dinosaurs, big cages.

So unless you want to load your family into the car (as many people in the PACKED museum did), follow the incredibly thorough signage through Kentucky to the Creation Museum’s front door, and fork over 20+ dollars, i’ll make the argument simple.

This:

A girl feeding a squirrel a carrot as a velicoraptor chills nearby

or this:

Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs...

So, whether you think Dr. Ian Malcolm is correct about the sequence of things (give or take a few ‘animatronics’), or simply want to scratch out a few details in his order of events, it all pretty much ends the same way: with us running our heretical asses out of there so we could get on with 2 hours of fruitless fishing (the only result being well-fed fish), Lifetime movies, and lazy rambling around lakehouses and basements.

Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...

Tomorrow the long haul to Houston. And then it will be good-by to summer and good-by to silly blogs like this one.